Jason Reporting for Blog Duty

Have you missed me? Come on, I know you have! I’ve been getting bucket loads of fan messages from all areas of the cycle community.  “What are they saying, Jason?” I hear you ask, well, they’re basically saying,

“Jason… we love you.”  Have a look:

“Jason, where art thou?” - Fred Harley
“Jason, I love you so much!” - Maggie Jones
“On yer blog, Randall” - Victor Davidson
“I can’t handlelize life without being Randalllized” - Clara Truman
“Jason mon petit pois, Où es-tu?” - Chantel Deville
“Herr Randall, Wie geht’s?” Ralph Flick
“Jason you old dog, regale us with more tales from the dusty trails” - Captain Jack

Yeah, I’ve been getting messages from people all over the blogosphere.  I’m quite surprised by my popularity, I know I’m one of the great cyclists but one of the great bloggers?  Hmm..

As usual you’ve been wondering “what’s Jason up to?” that’s why you came here, didn’t you.

Well now, let me give you an update on my life as a cyclist in Korea.

As an athlete I naturally relish a competition and these days I’ve been competing with all the good members of The Gang at a game called Bejeweled.  Bejeweled is a complicated computer game that involves matching different colours of tiles in order to score points.  All of The Gang have recently become seriously addicted.  Even Kid Williams is playing from beyond the grave.  Brian Barry and Pat Wigan have thrown themselves into the game with characteristic energy.  Brian has been taking it to the max.  He is currently scoreboard leader of the classic version of the game, a feat none of The Gang have matched, we haven’t even made it to the scoreboard and quite frankly given Brian’s notorious ill temper I think I’m quite happy to leave him there. 

The real version of the Bejeweled game to play though is the Speed game.  As natural cyclists with instincts for speed, it is this game that has seen The Gang pit their wits against one another in a quest for glory.  First Pat and then Brian registered on the scoreboard, Brian led the way for some time but not for long, Kid Williams somehow put a score on the scoreboard despite having passed away many years ago.  The main man I was waiting for however was none other than my old partner in crime, Chester George. I knew he was as hooked on the game as the rest of us but he wasn’t registering on the scoreboard.  I realised that Chester was deliberately hanging near the back of the pack, waiting for the final lap before registering a score to beat all scores, this is a tactic that Chester has seen me employ on numerous occasions during our cycle trips.  Chester didn’t disappoint he blew the rest of the pack away with a huge score, the way he broke the 470,000 point barrier really shook my confidence but I was determined to trump Chester just like I always do. 

It was now or never, I donned Doyle my sacred wolf’s pelt, I gently laid Wolfs Bane across my loins and slowly I worked myself up into a gaming frenzy, my fingers furiously clicking at the mouse, the pupils of my eyes rapidly searched for the right combinations, beads of sweat rolled from under my brow.  Time seemed to stand still, I had forgotten where I was, who I was, only the top score mattered,    “ding” 40pts, “ding” 25pts, “ding” 30pts, “ding” 50pts.  I passed 400,000, 410,000, 450,000, 460,000, 470,000…. 480,000, 500,000… 516,000!  Amazing! I had done it! I had gone where none had ever gone before, where none could reach, I had piped Chester to the post yet again!

As you can see, this is a game that is very popular with true born cyclists, you will not find any of the new generation of "fauxclists" able to get on the scoreboard, they are trying, they are doing their utmost but I can say with certainty that that reprobate Alistair Crowley will never make it on this scoreboard.

Chester, if you are reading, there can be only one highlander.